[Well now Hagakure's visibly offended.]

Are you saying I'm lying? Trust me man, I don't lie about this stuff. I'm dead serious.

[He...definitely seems serious enough about it too. Serious over a burger being abducted by aliens, yep.]

I mean yeah it would've been way different if I got abducted myself, but think about how scary that would be, dude! They'd experiment on me and probe me and stuff! No one wants that!