IP logging is OFF
Anon is ON
Screening is ON

How am I doing with this dorky perverted gearhead? Are my mechanic puns straight on, or do I need to retool everything? Is he not perverted enough? Is he actually somehow managing to be cool? Is he not being enough of a try-hard?

Also, I find calling this 'how's my DRIVING' funny because Souda can't even drive

Quick sidenote:
For the most part, I'm not going to be using that new translation coming in fall. Currently, I'm using a tiny bit of Oren's, but mostly I'll be using translations from kuzuhiko and birdmanronpa! Other translations I'm going off on are included in Souda's application.

[Souda had only heard about it once. Once, and it was with Ishimaru. Like many things, it hadn't immediately registered with him- that literally any of them could 'go back.' Maybe with the others, as he didn't have many attachments to them, but he didn't account for his soulfriend of all people to be one of them.

Now, Souda is by no means a pillar of strength. Hell, an evil blonde with pigtails could easily hurt his feelings. Mere hamsters constantly threaten his self-esteem and love life! But, by damn it, despite his teeth chattering and his hands shaking, he's doing this damn message!]

One of our friends, [or rather, leader] Hinata, went missin', and he left all his junk behind!

[He's obviously tried practicing what he's about to say, but he's still more looking at his feet than at his ‘gear. To his side on the bed are the remnants of all that Hinata had to leave behind- his bag, pokéballs, the works.]

H-Have ya seen him?! He's got short brown hair, this huge ahoge up top, [Souda even jerkily gestures over his head] white button up t-shirt thing, and a green tie with some letters or some shit on it!

[Midway in, Souda glances over his shoulder at the yakuza sitting on the couch behind him, messing with his pokégear in an almost distracted sort of way.]

...Oi, Kuzuryuu, ain't ya gonna say somethin'? You're all worried too, right?! I don't wanna do this thing alone, so help me out a little!

[Kuzuryuu frowns, looking up from his ‘gear.] Who said I was worried? Hinata can take care of himself. [He doesn’t say it but it’s pretty obvious that sentence should end with “unlike a certain someone in this room.” He turns his attention back to his own ‘gear screen.] He found his way here once, he can do it again. And when he does, I’ll kick his ass for leaving us in the first place.

[Okay so Kuzuryuu might be slightly worried. But only slightly. Possibly.

And with this completely productive exchange, Souda ends the feed. You're not fooling anybody, Kuzuryuu!]

Hey, it's Souda.

I'm not here right now, so either Chevrolet's chewin' on my gear again or I'm busy somewhere. If you're callin' 'cause ya need somethin' fixed, you've got the right number! Just leave your name and address after the beep and I'll get back to ya asap!

[Beep.]

[There's a light crackle as Souda fiddles with his Pokeconnect before he comes in clear.]

...uck!

[It's like an echo of Kuzuryuu's message on the network, only it's weeks late. Thankfully, he didn't have it on for two whole minutes of his freaking out, but he's still a pathetic crying mess. All the cold has apparently sapped the all the hope right out of his body. His boilersuit is zipped straight up, and his teeth are chattering.

Arguing with some lady who acted like a mother really didn't help his morale.]

Sonia-san, [Of course he calls out for her first, the predictable bastard] Hinata, the rest of ya guys! Are ya getting any of this?! [There isn't even a pause as he continues, because the tears on his face are freezing.]

F-First off, why the hell are there Pokémon?!

[The view pans down to show off his Totodile down by his feet chewing on his shoelaces. Souda is nervously laughing outside of view.]

Aha...ahahaaa... I'm dreaming, right? 'cause I played the first one when I was younger, but... There wasn't any ever like this one here!

This shit ain't funny! It's way too cold for it to be a joke! Goin' from an island to frozen hell?! If that Naegi kid is here, I'm throwing this thing [he means his Totodile] right at him! And I wanna go home, so ya guys better come out and get me already!

[...And now he just sounds like one of those children who lost their parents in a gigantic store.]