motormouths | First gear

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First gear | Video

[There's a light crackle as Souda fiddles with his Pokeconnect before he comes in clear.]

...uck!

[It's like an echo of Kuzuryuu's message on the network, only it's weeks late. Thankfully, he didn't have it on for two whole minutes of his freaking out, but he's still a pathetic crying mess. All the cold has apparently sapped the all the hope right out of his body. His boilersuit is zipped straight up, and his teeth are chattering.

Arguing with some lady who acted like a mother really didn't help his morale.]

Sonia-san, [Of course he calls out for her first, the predictable bastard] Hinata, the rest of ya guys! Are ya getting any of this?! [There isn't even a pause as he continues, because the tears on his face are freezing.]

F-First off, why the hell are there Pokémon?!

[The view pans down to show off his Totodile down by his feet chewing on his shoelaces. Souda is nervously laughing outside of view.]

Aha...ahahaaa... I'm dreaming, right? 'cause I played the first one when I was younger, but... There wasn't any ever like this one here!

This shit ain't funny! It's way too cold for it to be a joke! Goin' from an island to frozen hell?! If that Naegi kid is here, I'm throwing this thing [he means his Totodile] right at him! And I wanna go home, so ya guys better come out and get me already!

[...And now he just sounds like one of those children who lost their parents in a gigantic store.]

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Of course I do. Doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy on you if you fuck up.

[Souda, he is yakuza. Why are you surprised that this is how he operates? But hey, at least he said IF you fuck up, not WHEN you fuck up. That has to count for something, right?]

Besides, it's not that I think you'll purposefully talk. Or that you don't know the consequences. [He folds his arms over his chest.] It's just that you're absolute shit at hiding things. You crack under pressure.

[REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU TIED KOMAEDA UP AND TRIED TO HIDE IT? REMEMBER THAT?]

[Okay, but if still implies Kuzuryuu might kill him! At the very least cut off a finger as a token of apology, and what's a mechanic without his hands? There's the possibility of making himself a robotic arm if he fucks up too much, but--

What the hell is he thinking?]

N-No, I'm no-- [Stuttering too much already.] ...Fine, so I'm a pretty bad liar! I can't even help anybody cheat on a test, y'know! That's just the kinda guy I am! I can't do it without feelin' really, really bad, especially when they ask straight out! I can't do nothin' about that, y'know!

[CAN WE NOT FUCKING TALK ABOUT KOMAEDA, BECAUSE HE'D TIE HIM UP AGAIN.]

[Don't worry, Souda. He actually does kinda like you so maybe he'll just kinda break your finger a little instead. Much less permanent.]

Yeah well this isn't cheating on a test. You just said yourself what's at stake here if you slip up.

[Not just avoid. Lord knows, some of the 78th class might be a-okay with outright killing them. You remember what the Future Foundation's instructions for dealing with them were...]

If someone asks, which I can only think of one person who might, just tell 'em you don't know shit and change the subject.

[...]

...and if they keep giving you trouble, then you give me a call.

[HOW IS THAT FOR SURVIVOR SOLIDARITY? LOOK, HE'LL SAVE YOUR SORRY BUTT YOU WEENIE.]

Edited 2014-02-11 05:25 (UTC)

A title is somethin' like, you're the best of the best outta everybody in Japan and the like. I'm the best at repairin' and buildin' stuff, so I got in for that. Being a super high school level anything's a big honor!

[Please don't go down the road of Souda boasting about his skills.] But what kinda jobs let you carry around a scythe for a weapon?

...I don't know if I'd want to be the best in Japan, considering I'm American. The best in the world, maybe.

[She shrugs.] Police work. The Death Weapon Meister Academy protects the world from monsters.

[WELL, HE CAN'T REALLY DANCE AROUND SUBJECTS EASILY.]

Y'know the word anti-climactic? That's this whole thing for me. Me and Kuzuryuu were just talking about it earlier.

[Souda needs definitive answers, too, what with his nerves and all.] Nobody's dead or in comas anymore, but like...they remember island things. Exactly the opposite of the deal, y'know? [Maybe he should build the professor a robot after all this nonsense...]

I pretty much had it figured out that you'd be excited about this place, though. [If only it were just pixels and not a living breathing thing staring at him in the face.] I always wanted to have pets when I was little, but... These things are more work than a pet.

[Well now Hagakure's visibly offended.]

Are you saying I'm lying? Trust me man, I don't lie about this stuff. I'm dead serious.

[He...definitely seems serious enough about it too. Serious over a burger being abducted by aliens, yep.]

I mean yeah it would've been way different if I got abducted myself, but think about how scary that would be, dude! They'd experiment on me and probe me and stuff! No one wants that!

Okay, fine, the whole world! I'm the best in the whole--

[The fuck was that.]

W-W...

Edited (FUCK) 2014-02-12 06:37 (UTC)

[The fuck was that.

The fuck was that?!]

...H-Huh?

M-M-Monsters?! [Nevermind that he is basically surrounded by monsters 24/7 now.]

The fuck?!

...Calm down, would you?

[Man, this guy, it's like he's never heard the word "monsters" before.]

You've got a monster right there beside you anyway, there's no need to freak out.

H-Hey, I never said I wanted to get kidnapped or nothin', but I'm a mechanic! Think about all that new machinery up there, man! They'd have stuff centuries way ahead of us!

[It's not like Souda is secretly a super nerd or any-- Aww hell, he is.]

Plus, if I talked it out, maybe I'd get blueprints and stuff! But they only wanted a hamburger? I don't know, those sound like some pretty boring aliens! And, ain't that stereotype that all aliens are after is cows an American one, anyway?

Edited (yOU SAW NOTHING) 2014-02-12 13:56 (UTC)

[Monster is a trigger word, okay!]

You said it! You just had to go say it! I was tryin' my best to avoid thinkin' about it, but ya had to go and say it!

[Totodile is too cute to be a monster, plus it kind of looks like him!] That's one reason why I wanna be home!

Pokemon aren't going to hurt you, you befriend them and train them to fight! Your Totodile there is probably all excited about getting to go on a journey with you and you're talking about wanting to go home, that's mean!

...They can understand Japanese?

[Well, it actually hadn't hit him that way. Then again, he's just not the protagonist type.] I thought she was just hungry or something.

Eh?

[What an odd thing to say.]

They can understand what you're saying, yeah...but you're not speaking Japanese right now, you're...speaking English, aren't you? I can understand you...[wow this is weird she's never thought about what language everyone is speaking.]

B-but at any rate, your Pokemon understand you perfectly.

[Welcome to Souda's out of the box thinking.]

...But we're both speaking Japanese! [The last thing he needs is a total mindfuck right now! His pokémon understanding every single solitary word was enough trouble, but this? Honestly, as much of a nerd that Souda is, it's still a bit much.]

I don't speak a lot of English to begin with. I know some things, like names for things, but I can't make whole sentences! [Along with Gundam, he's probably the only person in their little group who'd yell out random English. Sonia doesn't count, what with being foreign to begin with.] Like... 'Nice going, Hinata-chan!' Or adjectives and stuff...

I mean...my mom's Japanese, but I'm not fluent by any means...I've been practicing for a while, but it's really far-fetched that suddenly I can be speaking it to you.

[She rubs at her temples, aaagh this is hard.]

I think in this case we can just assume that this world has forced a universal language on all of us. I'm not sure how, but then again we're in this world without any of our special abilities and we have these intelligent animals working with us.

...Am I seriously gonna have to walk it? Ya'd think everybody else'd have it together! We were supposed to be in all of this together, this big old reunion, but--

[Enough, motormouth.] Man, what am I supposed to do? It was so much simpler in the actual game! Ya pick Pidgey and go... Or like Alaka...Alkaseltzer? The one with the spoons!

[Why is everything so much simpler in theory?] But...three whole days. Who comes up with all this junk?!

Edited (hooly shit) 2014-02-12 12:13 (UTC)

['Eliminate any signs or remains of SHSL Despair. Do not let any of them survive.' The instructions were pretty damn clear. And Souda's mouth just tipped off a lot of radars. Shit.]

Before everybody decided up on it, I was really scared about comin' back. Scared of becomin' that again... Hell, I was still scared period. [This is...his third or fourth shot at acting like someone different and gaining friends, right?]

Ya don't gotta worry, I'll like...

[Are they slowly becoming friends? Is this a thing?]

...use ya as my get outta jail free card or whatever? [Is this what it's like to kind of have a friend like Kuzuryuu?] That's the deal, right?

[Does this count as their first FTE?] If...if things start gettin' scary, I just bring up your name to those guys? 'Kuzuryuu'll bust my head if I talk!' ...Which ya won't really, right?

Edited 2014-02-12 14:57 (UTC)

[GOD IT WAS JUST A SIMPLE QUESTION, CALM YOUR SHIT OR YOU REALLY WILL BE STRANDED IN NEW BARK TOWN.]

You're not, okay? Just give me a little while to find someone who's willing to come get you. I'll even go with them if I have to... just hold on for a bit, I'll start asking right now.

[He'll start with his ahoge brother since he's probably the most likely to say yes, ahaha...]

[ Indeed, the ahoge brother is going to say yes! Mostly because he couldn't possibly say no to helping a fellow dangan. Even if they happen to be from the sequel, was angry and wanted to throw a crocodile at him.

Eventually, a majestic cloudbird appears in the wild blue yonder above New Bark Town. It circles the town once before descending with its white wings outstretched, landing with grace and pinpoint accuracy outside the laboratory. ]

Is anti-climactic such a bad thing...? Something calmer and quieter and more peaceful...I don't think that's really a bad thing, you know?

[ At least, she likes it. ...And the whole, uh, being here at all part. ]

Isn't this a better deal...?

[ If they just figure out how to get everyone else here, at least. ]

Mm, they're not really pets...they're your partners. You're their trainer.

[This is assuming enough time has passed that Souda is miserably waiting outside again, teeth chattering and all. The poor professor was definitely receiving some sort of helper robot later, depending on how soon Souda could get his hands on good equipment...]

Whh-- H-Huh?

[Of course it's Naegi of all people. The guy is basically ahoge Jesus, after all! Nevertheless, Souda stares up at him with his Totodile in his arms.]

Naegi's the cavalry?! [Again?!]

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Page 6 of 7

First gear | Video

video; filtered oh lmao in that case i meant <small> html fadsjf my bad. I BORKED IT HORRENDOUSLY

video; filtered OH YEAH YOU DID

video; filtered it will probably not be the last time

[video] tumblr made me stupidly interested in them

[video] TUMBLR AND ITS WAYS

video; FILTERED. it's kind of a weird show anyway

[video] amazing

[video] THEY DID SOMETHING DISGUSTING TO AN ICE SKATER ...1/???

[video] 2/??? IT WAS SO GROSS

[video] 3/4 I AM SO SORRY

[video] 4/4 SOUDA SCREECHES ONCE MORE

[video] souda pls

[video] what's even sadder is Souda doesn't have a matching sprite for that

[video] that's pretty much the whole game

[video] shark-toothed wuss

[video] CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS

[video] yes yes she'll protect him from the wussiness as well

[video] okay good he's gonna need that

[video] kohai helping senpai amirite

video; memes kill, man

video; filtered I'll totally tease you the next time too

[video] fine he never wanted to be your soul friend anyway!!!

[action] HERE COMES THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE AHOGE

video; FILTERED. many shows are

[action] otherwise known as ahoge jesus