motormouths | First gear

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First gear | Video

[There's a light crackle as Souda fiddles with his Pokeconnect before he comes in clear.]

...uck!

[It's like an echo of Kuzuryuu's message on the network, only it's weeks late. Thankfully, he didn't have it on for two whole minutes of his freaking out, but he's still a pathetic crying mess. All the cold has apparently sapped the all the hope right out of his body. His boilersuit is zipped straight up, and his teeth are chattering.

Arguing with some lady who acted like a mother really didn't help his morale.]

Sonia-san, [Of course he calls out for her first, the predictable bastard] Hinata, the rest of ya guys! Are ya getting any of this?! [There isn't even a pause as he continues, because the tears on his face are freezing.]

F-First off, why the hell are there Pokémon?!

[The view pans down to show off his Totodile down by his feet chewing on his shoelaces. Souda is nervously laughing outside of view.]

Aha...ahahaaa... I'm dreaming, right? 'cause I played the first one when I was younger, but... There wasn't any ever like this one here!

This shit ain't funny! It's way too cold for it to be a joke! Goin' from an island to frozen hell?! If that Naegi kid is here, I'm throwing this thing [he means his Totodile] right at him! And I wanna go home, so ya guys better come out and get me already!

[...And now he just sounds like one of those children who lost their parents in a gigantic store.]

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[Is it that cold? Is it that cold that Souda can see his life (despair pending) flashing before his eyes? Visions of Sonia rescuing him from this winter hellhole flashed on out, as brief as they were. If something bad happens, shouldn't she be the one... ?? Er. Some of that info flies right over his head, and it takes his new companion tugging at his pants to rip him back.]

...What?! [And another shriek, like somebody put a loudspeaker straight up to his mouth.] How the hell is it just us three?! [Now that the thought is ingrained, how great would it have been if Sonia came on some chariot to rescue him from certain death? Instead of... Everything! At least hand his kind-of-still soulfriend the phone, but no.]

Who the hell just brings the guys? [That part about Tsumiki and some other dead 'classmates' being there? Nope, flew right over. Sidenote: who messes with the memories of a bunch of despair-ridden people again?]

...Really, outta all of us, it's-- [Souda's voice breaks off into a huff.] I don't wanna talk while I feel everything on me turning into ice! What is it, minus a billion?!

I said come get me, didn't I? [COME GET HIM, YOU ASSHOLE MIDGET.]

[...Souda there is literally no way Sonia would come and do that for you. It's almost like the cold has frozen your brain over. Except, no, this is just how you are basically all the time. It's probably a good thing that Kuzuryuu himself is not privy to your bizarre chariot fantasies. Because what the actual fuck, dude.]

[What the actual fuck.]

Don't you fucking tell me what to do, shithead! I'm over a two week's walk away from you, I couldn't come get you even if I actually wanted to!!

[Yeah uh...Hinata might be able to help with this, since he has some friends with fly. But Kuzuryuu is Kuzuryuu and take a guess how many friends outside of their class he's managed to make in two weeks.]

[Zero. The answer is zero. Pretend you're surprised.]

Look, just...just go stand inside the lab so you don't turn into a popsicle and we'll go from there, okay?

[Goddamn, you are so useless, Souda.]

[SONIA IS THE ONLY HOPE SOUDA'S EVEN GOT LEFT, DAMN IT. IF YOU RIP THAT OUT OF HIS TREMBLING HANDS, DESPAIR WILL DEFINITELY FILL THEM INSTEAD! You'd think they both were dropped in some horror game or something, but no, the only real monsters are their tempers right now.

...Shut up, Sonia totally could've saved him if she were there, unlike your useless midget ass.]

Two weeks walk?! I'd totally freeze!

[No kidding. If Souda were anybody else, he'd make this big speech about them all being friends and having to stick together, but... As everybody and their dead mother knows, Souda's skills are limited to repairing things and being a walking fridge horror moment waiting to happen.

Begrudgingly, Souda pokes his head on in the lab.]

...I-I almost yelled at that professor guy, too! He didn't say anything about home, so I got so pissed, but then I just... I got this Pokémon thing instead, like he was handin' some consolation prize!

[COULD YOU FIX THE ELEVATOR, BUILD MINI NIDAI, AND MAKE THE COMM LINK, YOU NO NEW FRIEND HAVING PIPSQUEAK?]

[NO BECAUSE HE'S THE GANGSTER NOT THE MECHANIC. BUT WHO WAS MORE USEFUL IN TRIALS, HUH? HUH?]

[Cat Herder v.2, that's right.]

Hinata might be able to come get you. I dunno, he offered to have someone come get us when me and Tsumiki got here but neither of us took him up on that.

[Kuzuryuu becase he's a stubborn butt, and Tsumiki because...well she's Tsumiki and didn't want to inconvenience Hinata.]

The professor is next to useless at explaining shit. I yelled at him for a good fifteen minutes solid and he didn't cough up anything. [He also yelled at Mom.] Information-wise, I mean obviously he gave me a monster consolation prize too.

But how much of what I said earlier actually got through that thick skull of yours?

[OKAY, OKAY, SO SOUDA WAS USELESS IN TRIALS. SO WHAT?]

I remember ya sayin' somethin' like... Not mentioning the last...

[Meanwhile, Souda clings to any and all sort of affection. They're such a dream team.]

Wait, Tsumiki?! Our Tsumiki, like executed, definitely in a coma Tsumiki?!

[Are you kidding right now, Kuzuryuu? Of course none of that sank in while he was freezing his ass off! Register one thing then the other, damn it! ...Even if he could've driven him away from that stupid Sonia fantasy, anyway.]

What, now you're gonna mess with me, too?! [HAVEN'T THEY GONE THROUGH ENOUGH SHIT TOGETHER TO BE FRIENDS?]

[Rollin' his eye here, Souda.]

No. The other Tsumiki we met on the island, OF COURSE DEFINITELY IN A COMA TSUMIKI!

[Hopefully she hasn't wandered back to the hotel or something because that got a little loud there.]

I'm not messing with you. I fuckin' told you, this world can bring people back to life. Or out of braindead comas in their case. She's not the only one. Nanami, Saionji, and Tanaka are here too.

But good, you heard the important part. Don't say anything to anybody about what went down at the last trial. Especially to the kids from Naegi's class. Because Naegi doesn't remember us or any of the shit that went down.

Edited (wait, right, just the one eye. SORRY FOR ALL THE EDITS.) 2014-02-04 04:36 (UTC)

[They have now reached a new level in screaming matches.]

H-How the hell am I supposed to believe any of that shit?! That's something only Enoshima would say, damn it! It's way too impossible! All of this, everything, it's way too impossible!

[Impossible, coming from the fact that literally moments ago a gigantic MMD-like Junko Enoshima was looming over their heads. Yeah. Right.]

I have a Pokémon named Chevrolet! That Pokémon is looking right at me right now, too! There's no way any of this is real, and those guys somehow tricked us! The only person who'd make sense being here is Nanami, and she ain't even real!

...And do you seriously think I'd tell anybody about the fact that we ki... [So glad this is filtered, because Souda looks sick. He almost said they all killed people in a lab for fucks sake.] ... Yeah, nobody's ever knowin' that! But if I see that kid, I'm gonna yell at him, and there's no way you can stop me! How do you even know he isn't lyin' 'bout not knowing?

[Kuzuryuu sighs, resisting the urge to drag his hand down his face.]

A kid like that isn't capable of telling a lie like that, just trust me on this one. [Naegi is basically shsl harmless face, in Kuzuryuu's opinion. He's got it worse than Hinata, frankly.] He's not the only one who doesn't remember shit so it has to be a legit claim. Tsumiki, thank god, doesn't remember anything past finding me in the hospital.

[The rest of that, he assumes, can be left unsaid. You know why he was in the hospital and we are Not Talking About It.]

And she definitely isn't lying. Because if she was, she or I would be dead by now. Probably her. [Because like fuck would he have let her kill him and go on to kill lord knows how many other people in the name of Enoshima.] I think it goes without saying, but we are not saying anything to her that might make her remember, got it??

[He doesn't have a clue how this memory/timeline shit works here but he's not taking any chances.]

So yeah, long and the sort of it is: as fucking impossible as this all seems, it's actually happening. The sooner you get used to it, the better. Yell at him all you want if it'll make you feel better, but if we are being tricked right now? Those guys have nothing to do with it. They're in the same damn boat, if anything.

[Souda just...calm down and accept Pokémon World for the glorious thing that it is.]

[Kuzuryuu can go ahead and facepalm to be honest. That's this kid's effect on people.]

Naegi does have that 'I'm way too innocent and nice to be a bad guy' look, but... [This is the guy whose mentality wavered so many times that he legitimately wondered if Hinata were the traitor in some cases! A truth like that is so hard for him to grasp, so hold on a minute.] ...It's still nuts!

Like, we all had this huge bonding moment before we left! [And if Souda would stop being so delusional, he'd agree on the SHSL harmless face thing. Again, though, he's Souda.] All of us promisin' we'd remember, that it was a new start, but...!

I-I ain't goin' anywhere near the rest of 'em, especially Tsumiki! [He doesn't talk to Gundam, anyway, and his existence is really meaningless without Sonia around. Saionji, she's a plain old bully. Nanami...] ...Except Nanami! Nanami's fine.

[Nanami is obviously fine. She'd belong here, anyway.]

...That's if ya ain't fuckin' with me! [How is he supposed to keep from yelling at Naegi.]

...Do I look like the sort of person who would fuck around with something like this?

[Or, you know...fuck around at all?]

[I mean have we ever even heard this kid tell a joke?]

...No, you look like the kid who'd pop a balloon just by lookin' at it.

[Goddamn it, Kuzuryuu is one of the anchors to keep his rocket from spiraling into space, for crying out loud.]

This ain't the reunion I was wanting, okay! [Is that Simple Plan's infamous song Untitled playing in the background?]

[Damn straight he would. ~~Don't let him near any Drifloons.~~]

[Kuzuryuu falls quiet at that, his expression softening a little. Maybe he's listening to that infamous song in the background but probably not because the only background music is actually the damn Goldenrod tune. Which he does his best to try and ignore.]

...what did you want?

[He's having a lot of mixed feelings on the situation himself and APPARENTLY WE'RE POSSIBLY GOING TO TALK ABOUT THOSE NOW?? Okay, Kuzuryuu.]

[Don't let Souda near any mechanical Pokémon, either.]

I don't know, somethin' big? Seems like so anti-climactic for me to see ya again while we're still in our simulation bodies, y'know? Like, I know Naegi said we'd likely hurt ourselves, but I'm gettin' real sick of just... Being like this and all?

[At least any Pokémon background music is better than that damn song.]

I was scared, but I was also ready, you get what I mean? [Yeah, sorry, Kuzuryuu, but we're going down that road now. This is called character development, something you should know really well!]

Edited (wording went haywire gdi) 2014-02-05 02:41 (UTC)

...yeah, I get it.

[Did he just sort of admit to being scared? No, of course not. He meant the being ready and also being slightly bummed about avatar body. Yeah, it's great that he's not mutilated (or as mutilated as he could potentially be) but AI Enoshima said he lost his baby face hadn't he? God that would have been great. He cannot begin to tell you how much he would love to not be stuck as a babyface.]

I was ready too and sometimes it almost seems like this is just...an easier way out. I mean we were gonna fix shit, right? Wake all the other kids up and just...

[Get better? You know...not be all despair-high? And hey, maybe help restore the world too. Yeah. That was the plan wasn't it?]

[Kuzuryuu sighs, leaning back against the couch and running a hand over his hair. His Pawniard comes into view, scooting closer to him and resting her head against his other arm, careful not to impale him or anything like that. It's hard being a sword beast and wanting to comfort someone.]

But now it's like the work's already done for us. Hell, even Nanami's here and there was nothing we could do about her. So at the same time, it almost feels like we shouldn't complain. Because in some ways this is better than anything we could have hoped for.

[Especially since who even knows if it would have been possible to wake up the coma kids or how long that would have taken.]

[Yeah, Kuzuryuu's trademark babyface might be gone, but Souda is both scared yet...excited about himself out of the program. For example, how even old was he? Was he taller? Was he somebody nobody would ever bully again? Sure, it's morbid to think about, but this is the guy who built Mini Nidai!

What if he had a robotic arm or made some similar modifications...]

I mean like...don't ya wonder?

[As it is, Souda really has to snap himself out of it. He sinks down to sitting on the floor, and he sighs as his Totodile tries climbing in his lap. Kuzuryuu isn't the only one who has a sharp one.]

The other side. I wanted to go back home so bad, y'know? See anything but the island. [At the very least, Souda could've studied the machinery.]

So, yeah, I think we've got a ton of right to complain about all this! We've got a right to be pissed off! [Granted, his feelings on it are pretty selfish, but still. It's not what he was expecting, and that's the key detail here.]

............

[The answer to that first question is 'yes' but Kuzuryuu really doesn't want to admit it. Of course he wonders, who WOULDN'T wonder after the deets AI Enoshima dropped on them? Of course you're going to be curious when someone mentions that your body changed so drastically over the span of 2-3 years that you had to have an avatar of your past self so neither you nor your childhood friend would question the change. Of course you want to know if you'll finally look as mature and worthy of your title as you'd always dreamed you would.]

You were paying attention to the part where we were still gonna be on the island when we woke up, right? [Okay, apparently that long pause was the only answer we're giving to the first part.] If anything, you got one of your wishes. It's not home, but this place isn't that damn island at least.

[Which, as sick of the island as he was, Kuzuryuu had no intention of leaving it until all the other kids were awake again. Mostly Peko, to be honest, but may as well wake them all up as long as they're there.]

[...save for maybe Komaeda.]

[They could leave Komaeda in his pod forever and Kuzuryuu would only feel slightly guilty about it, maybe. Oops.]

Hinata's pretty happy about it. Pretty sure Nanami's fucking stoked. And nobody else knows the truth so they're not complaining. So I guess it's just me and you having hang-ups.

[He WANTS to be happy about it, he really does. And some part of him is. The part of him that most desperately wants to see Peko again (which is, admittedly, most of him) is so damn happy to have a chance like this. But he's been having some trouble reconciling that part of him with the part that's insisting that this is not the "right" way to take care of things.]

[...Not what he meant, Kuzuryuu.]

Not fake Jabberwock Island, the real one! Y'know, like real life and stuff. Our bodies, as banged up as they are, just... It's makin' me antsy.

[And of course Hinata would be stoked at still being, well, Hinata. They did say he'd become Kamukura again, right?] Hinata being happy...that's a pretty obvious deal. It's better for him to stay like that, but the two of us?

[Kamukura sounded kind of creepy, anyway. Second leader after Enoshima type creepy.] Not so much. But, yeah, it's good for everybody but us. I guess it could be like a second chance for us, too, but it's not.

[Sure, Kuzuryuu, but Souda never exactly got close to anybody in their few weeks on the island. His paranoia shoved everybody away. He was kind of friends with Nidai for a while, but yeah. No deep bonds were made like everyone else, only with Hinata, and Hinata has tons of other people.]

So...all of 'em, then? Nobody knows they died?

[And if Komaeda's ass ever shows up, they're tying him up again and throwing him to the sharpedos. Maybe if they actually followed through with Souda's plan, things would've gone smoother. Didn't Nanami untie him the first time they tried it, too?!]

Edited (I HAD TO ADD MORE) 2014-02-06 09:00 (UTC)

[Well, Souda, maybe now is your chance to try and fix that. Time to FTE it up with people who aren't Hinata. This can be Dangan Island: Pokémon style, let's get all those hope shards, boy!!!]

Mmm...

[It's not really a noise of agreement, but it's not really a noise of dissent either. Because while they both are clearly having some issues with this place, clearly those issues are a little different. Kuzuryuu doesn't really mind the form he's stuck in as much as he minds having all the work done for him. It just doesn't sit well with him.]

Nah, Saionji and Nanami know they're dead. Last thing they remember, apparently. I already told you Tsumiki's got no fucking clue about much of anything. And I dunno about Tanaka but I think Nanami said he's from way early. Only talked to him once and you can probably guess how that went.

[Not bad, but at the same time...it's not like he really got anything useful out of the conversation. Because Gundam is Gundam.]

I meant the rest of the stuff. Like about the virtual reality bullshit and...Enoshima. Or well...obviously Nanami knows about the virtual reality stuff. But everybody else doesn't have a clue. And Hinata and I think it's best if it stays that way.

Keep the truth between just the five of us.

[Just let Souda think about it a bit more. Once he pulls himself out of this rut, he'll be gearing up for all those missed FTEs! Operation Pokémon Ronpa can commence once he's warmed up again!]

...Yeah, that'd fuck up a lot of stuff. [How do you slip talking about the entire thing being a simulation, much less SHSL Despair in casual conversation, anyway? Not that Souda's mouth couldn't accidentally find a way there, but that's only if they drill him!

They're different people. Focusing on details like that won't get them anywhere, right? They all had their brief moments of near relapse in one way or another, right?]

But I guess that won't matter because I plan on avoidin' all the dead people but Nanami, right? [Yes. That's going to work well.] Don't gotta worry 'bout me sayin' all that stuff.

...But that's if I ever find a way outta here, y'know!

Exactly. It'd fuck up more than I want to deal with.

[There are, of course, a couple of flaws in this plan. Chief among them: if Enoshima herself ever shows up. That could be...a problem. Just a little one.]

And good. Because if you do slip up and run that motor-mouth [Holy shit was that a joke? From Kuzuryuu??] of yours, it'll be the last thing you ever do.

[Dead. Serious. Swear to god, Souda, you better not fuck up here.]

[What if that gigantic MMD Enoshima showed up and inflicted despair upon them all...]

...Don't ya have any sense of solidarity?! [Threatening a fellow member from the final five? Come on, man!]

You're really killin' it here! [The joke actually flies over his head, all thanks to his threat.] I'm not gonna talk, damn it! Do ya seriously think I want anybody knowin' all that?! Everybody'd avoid us!

Of course I do. Doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy on you if you fuck up.

[Souda, he is yakuza. Why are you surprised that this is how he operates? But hey, at least he said IF you fuck up, not WHEN you fuck up. That has to count for something, right?]

Besides, it's not that I think you'll purposefully talk. Or that you don't know the consequences. [He folds his arms over his chest.] It's just that you're absolute shit at hiding things. You crack under pressure.

[REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU TIED KOMAEDA UP AND TRIED TO HIDE IT? REMEMBER THAT?]

[Okay, but if still implies Kuzuryuu might kill him! At the very least cut off a finger as a token of apology, and what's a mechanic without his hands? There's the possibility of making himself a robotic arm if he fucks up too much, but--

What the hell is he thinking?]

N-No, I'm no-- [Stuttering too much already.] ...Fine, so I'm a pretty bad liar! I can't even help anybody cheat on a test, y'know! That's just the kinda guy I am! I can't do it without feelin' really, really bad, especially when they ask straight out! I can't do nothin' about that, y'know!

[CAN WE NOT FUCKING TALK ABOUT KOMAEDA, BECAUSE HE'D TIE HIM UP AGAIN.]

First gear | Video

video; filtered Souda Kazuichi: now in exclamation point flavor

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video; filtered meanie 8(