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[motormouths]

[There's a light crackle as Souda fiddles with his Pokeconnect before he comes in clear.]

...uck!

[It's like an echo of Kuzuryuu's message on the network, only it's weeks late. Thankfully, he didn't have it on for two whole minutes of his freaking out, but he's still a pathetic crying mess. All the cold has apparently sapped the all the hope right out of his body. His boilersuit is zipped straight up, and his teeth are chattering.

Arguing with some lady who acted like a mother really didn't help his morale.]

Sonia-san, [Of course he calls out for her first, the predictable bastard] Hinata, the rest of ya guys! Are ya getting any of this?! [There isn't even a pause as he continues, because the tears on his face are freezing.]

F-First off, why the hell are there Pokémon?!

[The view pans down to show off his Totodile down by his feet chewing on his shoelaces. Souda is nervously laughing outside of view.]

Aha...ahahaaa... I'm dreaming, right? 'cause I played the first one when I was younger, but... There wasn't any ever like this one here!

This shit ain't funny! It's way too cold for it to be a joke! Goin' from an island to frozen hell?! If that Naegi kid is here, I'm throwing this thing [he means his Totodile] right at him! And I wanna go home, so ya guys better come out and get me already!

[...And now he just sounds like one of those children who lost their parents in a gigantic store.]

Comments

[video]

[soundmind]

Hey, come on, settle down.

[What's with people coming in and SCREAMING THEIR ANGST lately?]

Yelling isn't going to help with anything but getting attention you don't want. Or biting your tongue with those teeth of yours, either way you shouldn't do it.

[video] sorry that this took literally five months

[motormouths]

[You'd be yelling too if you went from a tropical island down to in the middle of winter! Unless you had nerves of steel, which Souda most definitely does not.]

I was freezin' my butt off! I'm pretty sure my earring froze! I think I've got a right to ye...

[He trails off as that last bit sinks in.] Wait, what was that last part?

[video] how dare you man I waited like Fry's dog

[soundmind]

[She lives in a desert bro don't you start sassing her.]

Your teeth. I've never asked Soul this, but do you ever accidentally bite your tongue with teeth like that? It must hurt a lot.

[This non-sequitur brought to you by a shonen protagonist that gives no fucks.]

[video] you waited so long that you turned into a fossil. that takes skill

[motormouths]

[Then she understands the crazy temperature change!]

...My teeth. [Okay, honestly, this is the first time anybody has ever asked him something like that. Souda pokes out his tongue, and he stares down at it for a few moments.]

Th-They ain't that sharp, but yeah, maybe! Maybe I've bitten my tongue a few times! [Are you kidding, his tongue has battle scars.]

[video] I'm an owl of many talents what can I say

[soundmind]

Oh. That sucks. They look cool, but I guess they're pretty inconvenient when you think about it. [When you think about it, who thinks about stuff like this?!] Do you start drooling because they're too big for your mouth, too? That happens to Soul.

[Like, who really just starts going chatterbox with questions all of a sudden.]

[video] gosh

[motormouths]

[Behold, the first person ever who's called Souda's teeth cool, as well as the only one to ask about them without being openly insulting.]

Wha...? Did you seriously just call my teeth cool? [DO YOU REALIZE NOBODY HAS EVER CALLED SOUDA COOL.]

[video] *sparkles* hoothoot

[soundmind]

...Uh. Yeah? So? [OBVIOUSLY SHE DOES NOT.]

[video] OH GOD I'MBLIND

[motormouths]

So?!

That's...that's the first time ever! [AND NOW SHE DOES.] Ya really think they're cool? Ya ain't messin' with me?

[video] dammit that's the third one this year

[soundmind]

No...why would I mess with someone I don't even know? [Maka may be a gloomy bookworm but she's not a jerk.] They look like shark teeth, and that's cool, sharks are cool.

[video] you need to come with a warning label

[motormouths]

...A lotta people do it, so can ya blame me? [His teeth are chipped for a reason.]

So...they're pretty cool, huh? [Can he please bask in the glow of somebody calling him cool for a few more minutes?]

[video] mozart: such blind, very sparkle, wow

[soundmind]

...Oh. [No, she can't, a lot of people make fun of her too. Back at home, at least.] I see. Sorry.

Yeah, they are.

[video] such meme

[motormouths]

...But, nevermind the past, right? [Because running away from it is much better.]

The name's Souda Kazuichi, and my title's SHSL mechanic. [...At your service.] How 'bout you?

[video] I confess that I'm a meme-loving fuck

[soundmind]

[Yes good, never mind bad things, moving on!!]

Maka Albarn! Um, I don't have a "SHSL" title like that...I am a two star Scythe Meister at the DWMA though. Would you rather be called Souda or Kazuichi?

[video] I must confess that I liked the 2014 Olympics opening

[motormouths]

[Scythe...Meister?]

Souda's fine. [Did you know that nobody has ever called Souda by his first name?] And is that like...

We've got somebody in our class with the title 'SHSL Swordswoman,' so I guess you could kinda be like that? But I don't know how that'd work... [What the hell is a Meister.]

[video] I confess that I have no idea what goes on with the olympics

[soundmind]

Well...my main weapon of choice is a scythe, so maybe. But I don't know how that title thing works either, from what you're saying it sounds like a school thing, but being a Meister is my occupation.

[video] tumblr made me stupidly interested in them

[motormouths]

A title is somethin' like, you're the best of the best outta everybody in Japan and the like. I'm the best at repairin' and buildin' stuff, so I got in for that. Being a super high school level anything's a big honor!

[Please don't go down the road of Souda boasting about his skills.] But what kinda jobs let you carry around a scythe for a weapon?

[video] TUMBLR AND ITS WAYS

[soundmind]

...I don't know if I'd want to be the best in Japan, considering I'm American. The best in the world, maybe.

[She shrugs.] Police work. The Death Weapon Meister Academy protects the world from monsters.

[video] THEY DID SOMETHING DISGUSTING TO AN ICE SKATER ...1/???

[motormouths]

Okay, fine, the whole world! I'm the best in the whole--

[video] 2/??? IT WAS SO GROSS

[motormouths]

[The fuck was that.]

W-W...

[video] 3/4 I AM SO SORRY

[motormouths]

[The fuck was that.

The fuck was that?!]

...H-Huh?

[video] 4/4 SOUDA SCREECHES ONCE MORE

[motormouths]

M-M-Monsters?! [Nevermind that he is basically surrounded by monsters 24/7 now.]

The fuck?!

[video] souda pls

[soundmind]

...Calm down, would you?

[Man, this guy, it's like he's never heard the word "monsters" before.]

You've got a monster right there beside you anyway, there's no need to freak out.

[video] that's pretty much the whole game

[motormouths]

[Monster is a trigger word, okay!]

You said it! You just had to go say it! I was tryin' my best to avoid thinkin' about it, but ya had to go and say it!

[Totodile is too cute to be a monster, plus it kind of looks like him!] That's one reason why I wanna be home!

[video] shark-toothed wuss

[soundmind]

Pokemon aren't going to hurt you, you befriend them and train them to fight! Your Totodile there is probably all excited about getting to go on a journey with you and you're talking about wanting to go home, that's mean!

[video] CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS

[motormouths]

...They can understand Japanese?

[Well, it actually hadn't hit him that way. Then again, he's just not the protagonist type.] I thought she was just hungry or something.